here’s a fun fact get the fuck away from me
YOU’VE NEVER REALLY HATED YOURSELF UNTIL YOU’VE SAID “ur mom” TO SOMEONE WITH A DEAD MOTHER
If I introduce a movie to you, and we watch it together, I’ll be spending at least 99.9% of the time watching you to make sure you are responding correctly to the film.
do you ever cry because you don’t live in new york city
im still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature
my new year’s resolution is to drink more because life is fucking terrible
why can’t plane tickets be like 10 dollars
i hate it when people don’t hate the people i hate
is it acceptable to start an essay with “listen here you little shit”?
if you locked your boyfriend and your dog in a trunk for a week and then opened it the boyfriend would probably be pissed but the dog would be happy to see you also known as reasons why dogs are better than boyfriends
do you ever have those days where you feel like a white person in an infomercial